Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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