hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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