He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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