I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
