Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize