dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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