we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
