i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
