Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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