i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I need to calm my uterus...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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