We're facebook friends in real life
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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