Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
