Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
