Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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