He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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