Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
