I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
