clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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