i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize