Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
