He is an equal opportunity slut.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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