forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't deserve a penis
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
