no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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