When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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