i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
