Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
