Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
