I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
