i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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