I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You need Xanax blowdarts
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
