I skipped work to stalk him.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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