I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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