Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
