She is in my trunk
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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