Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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