apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
