My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You need Xanax blowdarts
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
