david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
