There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize