Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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