I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
