Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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