I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
