I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
