Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
