And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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