Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
