just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
