I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
