Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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