Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
