man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
