my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
