You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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