it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
birth control should be required to get into college
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
40s are totally the cure
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
