I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
