I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
