So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
