the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
