JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
